Dai Kam Jie (Bride's Chaperone) 大妗姐


The Chinese traditional practices are slowly forgotten with every generation. Many Chinese couples choose to have more Westernized weddings because they have very little knowledge about the way to conduct a proper wedding in their culture. There are too many rules, some even differ with the dialect. Hence hiring a wedding chaperone would definitely help guide the family members in organizing the traditional proceedings accordingly. He/ she will remind you of the do's and don'ts to make sure you do not loose touch with your roots.

However avoid engaging a DaiKam who loves to steal the show, or one who is not so knowledgeable. If you have witnessed them in action before during previous weddings or from your personal experience, can you leave a few words here?

fetch the bride proceeding
One of the tasks of a chaperone is to organize the "fetch the bride" proceeding, tea ceremony...
Photo by Zane Photoz

Anna 姐  
Tel: 016-271 1176
http://www.broughtup2share.com/2012/12/c-c-wedding-vendors/ (Dec 2012)
"We would personally recommend our Dai Kum Jie (大妗姐). She’s really trained, did her job in addressing the families & ancestors really well and she managed to pull out a good show by getting the bridesmaids & groomsmen to join in her chants. We personally do not have a good impression on lady chaperones but Anna totally changed our mind no doubt. Need to book her fast, as many have feedback that she’s fully booked for most of the dates. Anna jie is one dai kum jie we truly respect and all of the family members including heng dai jimuis loves her. She’s not bossy & gets along well with everyone :) She will ask for meet up first to see if you are satisfied with her or not."


Xue Li Jie (Shirley Chang) 雪莉姐
shirley chang speaks many dialects
Xue Li Jie (Shirley) from Cheras. She can speak Cantonese, Hakka and Mandarin well. With 3 years of experience, ranked 23rd under the mentorship of Anna Wong. She is very entertaining which the older folks love. Amazingly, she sang for each couple when tea was served and could do so in a few languages. With good attitude and EQ as well as a modern appearance, she manages wedding ceremonies well.
Website
Tel: 012 3278621

Mummy Three 林峰山
mummythree chinese opera face
Website: https://www.facebook.com/mummythree
A male "Dai Kam" who is funny and hyperactive. He is also multi-talented. The Chinese Opera face (mask) changing trick performance by him was interesting. Here's a wedding actual day video showing some of his work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I6LUmy8OjQ

Xin Jie
Tel: 016-2785507, 012-2920337
Her hilarious words of good wishes had everyone laughing their hearts out. The phrases weren't too traditional yet meaningful. The guests and family members complimented her for the job well done. Rates: RM390 (2010)

Geng Kor
Tel: 012-5013301 
Geng Kor is one of the best "Dai Kam" around. This male wedding chaperone is fun and friendly.

Doris
Tel: 016-2793185
Friendly and humorous. Rate: RM480 (2012)


REVIEWS
GENG KOR
Mar 2012
Maybe u wan to look for "Geng kor". He is a tai kam lou but he is by far the best tai kam i worked with.

Sep 2010
“You may contact this Gengko, he is a male tai kum, my cousins sister hired him and he is quite fun and friendly” my cousin sister introduced. But he was booked when I contacted him. Tel: 012-5013301
MUMMY THREE
Oct 2012
My multi talented dai kam Mummythree ♥♥♥ thanks Dad Jimmy Ong for the fabulous recommendation. FB page: https://www.facebook.com/mummythree

Mar 2011
Walau, beh tahan the "Dai Kam Po" lor.... Or should say "Dai Kam Gong" as he is a male.... So damn interesting and funny..
Joanne babe @ Jul 2012
My dai kum jeh is Doris. She's very friendy & humourous. Her contact number is 016-2793185 :-) Her rate is RM480

SHIRLEY CHANG (XUE LI JIE)
hot-choc @ Jul 2012
My dai kam jie is Xue Li Jie (Shirley Chang). Contact number is 012 3278621. I just had my AD a couple of weeks ago. Everything turned out great. My tai kam jie was good, very entertaining which the older folks loved. She prepared chocolate gold coins for the tea ceremony, as i need to give it back to the couple that i served tea to and lolipops for kids that i hand out ang pows to. She sang for each couple when we served tea and could do so in a few languages. :) 

http://www.malaysiabrides.com/forum/topic/24661-im-looking-for-tai-kam-jie-chaperone/#entry372450
PhotoGlebe @ Mar 2011
I knew of 1 Dai Kam Jie, whose appearance is quite "in", good attitude and good EQ.
One think special about her is, she hosts the tea ceremony with singing, amazing! 歌唱大妗 – 雪莉姐 Shirley Chang 012-3278621
sherylp @ Feb 2011
Just had my wedding on the 12th feb 2011. Engaged with the TKJ. She had done a great job on that day! Her verses was funny and everyone had a good laugh, not too traditional but meaningful. First time seeing my father laugh greatly. Mostly all of my relatives commented she has done a great job! I am not sure her real name but we call her Xin Jie. Here is her number: 016-2785507, 012-2920337


11 comments:

  1. Just looking for a place to vent my anger... And also for my friends, friends friends, friends friends friends and complete strangers to be aware off... To those who are looking for a Dai Kam Jie, Please be very careful and refrain from hiring this person - Christine, Fong Fa Jie (016-6981803). (Side note: she was the Dai Kam Jie during my Sister In Law’s wedding) (Not sure where she is from or which company she is attached to. As my S-I-L's in-law was the one that "helped" find her... although we did not want one... I'm still trying to find out more info about her). This is the WORST ever Dai Kam Jie I've ever encountered. My sister or my 70++ yr old nanny or my wife’s cousin sisters would have done a much better job. It's also the first time that I've seen the main door open soooooo many times when the Ji Mui's are playing the Heng Tai's. AND also the first time that I've heard that Ji Mui's can only play the Heng Tai but not the Groom... And she is quite expensive too… Some of the ISSUES I have with her:
    1. Asking for the main door of my house to be opened more than 10 times for her to do her stuff when the Heng Tai’s are being “tortured” by the Ji Mui’s.
    2. Disrespecting my In-Laws (parents to the bride). We have already told her more than 5 times that my In-Laws do not understand Cantonese, only Hokkien or Mandarin or English, but she still keeps on going on in Cantonese. (she did say that she can speak in Hokkien as well)
    3. Disrespecting Me and my Wife as the head of Our house. She walked in and out of the house as though that is her house and totally ignoring us.
    4. I believe she has less knowledge then me or my wife or my sister or anyone I know when doing prayers. First, the groom’s side asked us to pray to “Tian Gong” when the entourage left their house. But when the Dai Kam Jie arrived with the entourage, she asked us why we prayed so early? She said we are supposed to pray when the groom arrived or something. Second, which got me very angry was when she asked the bride and groom to pray to “Tian Gong” and bring the joss sticks and put it on the Buddha’s joss stick urn. That to me is being very ignorant and very disrespectful. Not enough with that, she also stuck 2 huge (Cantonese dragon and phoenix) candle into the joss stick urn without asking for permission from ME or my WIFE. Not only that, she didn’t even have the courtesy to put her hands together and said a simple prayer/permission before touching and messing up my altar. Because of her actions, I have to spend almost an hour plus that night just to clean the altar and joss stick urn and oil lamp from the candle wax.
    5. Also, in most cases that I’ve seen, usually Dai Kam Jie’s will be on the bride’s side and helping the Ji Mui’s. But with this lady, she is ALWAYS on the GROOM’s side, telling off the Ji Mui’s for asking the groom to participate in the games…And also she was very supportive of the Heng Tai’s when they were being rude to my wife.
    6. Out of courtesy (although we were very pissed mad) we asked her to have something to eat (my M-I-L spent the whole day and night cooking Nasi Dagang) and she declined. But she was having quite a good time eating at the Groom’s side. Which lead me to believe that either she is a very biased Dai Kam Jie or she is actually the “friend” of the Groom family.

    If I can have it my way, I would have kicked her out of the house and asked her to stay outside until we are done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fuck you with the ideas of playing or 'torturing' the heng dai! Very happy ah seeing ppl being played or torture??? Wedding is between the two couples... what the hell you ji mui and heng dai fucking care? You girls are barbaric!

      Delete
  2. Hi! KT, read through your letter above couple times, I feel that its more about mis-communication and mis-understanding between you and your dai kam jie (DKJ). I’m a DKJ too, part time basis, I personally neither know Christine Fong Fa Jie. Maybe I put it this way “every coin has two sides”, it depends on whether you treat it positively or negatively. Below are some of my personal opinions and common practices in response to your issues stated.

    Issue 1: Request for main door to be opened more than 10 times..
    It’s normal for DKJ to request for open door while playing games as it look ugly on video shooting/pictures and it means obstacles to couple’s future lives. If both JiMuis & HengDais & groom TRUST each others, JiMuis don’t have to lock the door. The groom might have got off from the bride’s car too early and JiMui can’t wait to start the games that DKJ can’t do her jobs accordingly.

    Issue 2: Ignorant about language use?
    I guess its all about DKJ language competency. This is very subjective, no comment.

    Issue 3: Ignoring the owner of the house?
    Upon arriving at the bride’s house, DKJ will have to look for bride’s parent & congratulate them instead of the owner of the property. Unless DKJ was informed in advance that the bride’s parent not around and bride’s brother will be the “guardian” or decision maker, then DKJ will proceed to look for the guardian/decision maker. I don’t see the need of finding out the owner of the property but the decision maker/guardian of the bride’s side instead. If you feel like being ignored probably you are over sensitive on this matter. If you are the decision maker for the bride’s side and expect attention, then you may stand forward and introduce yourself to DKJ.

    Issue 4a: Tian Gong Praying
    This part depends on the location & setting of the altar. Also depending on your ancestor inherited “laws” whether to do it before or after entourage arrival, I’m liberal on this matter.

    Issue 4b: Permission to stick dragon phoenix candles
    Normally the dragon phoenix candles to be lighted & struck by the bride’s parent or senior lucky couple of the family. I can’t figure out why your DKJ involved in this matter.

    Issue 5: Disallow groom participation in JiMuis’ games.
    On wedding day groom is known as “raja sehari”, some participation on games is acceptable. But not advisable to involve groom in balloon/egg breaking or wear underwears, drink weird juices & knee down during games. This is to ensure good omens to the couple and groom stay clean & healthy till throughout the AD.

    Issue 6: Declined your food..
    It’s more about the timing & personal food preference. Some people can’t accept non-chinese food. Normally both the groom & bride’s family has the courtesy to feed all guests well. Say if the groom & bride house quite short distance, entourage starts from 8:30am till 12:30pm they could have been feed maximum 3 meals & 1 tea time. In my case, I will not have appetite to eat till job finish.

    Throughout my years of DKJ career life, I encountered lots of YiMaGuJ (aunties & uncles) of the wedding couple that they think they are well-versed of the wedding customs but in reality some only up to half boil level & follow blindly from their ancestor inherited practices. Some YiMaGuJ quite antipathy against hiring of DKJ, they thought they can do better job than DKJ, they often try to test & challenge DKJ skill, especially I am the young looking DKJ type, often subject to be challenged. Some like to compare with their previous DKJ employed… Some expect DKJ to be an entertainer/singer rather than a genuine wedding custom executor.. So its advisable to meet with your DKJ before hand to ensure you won’t be disappointed on your AD.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Issue 1: Unfortunately, non of the heng tais looks trustworthy... Also there was no video or photography sessions at that time... And the doors being opened and closed because she wanted to do her stuff... things that could have been done after everything.

      Issue 2: She herself said that she can speak in Hokkien.. And was reminded over and over again whenever she started saying in Cantonese and yet she just ignored me and my wife.

      Issue 3: The bride's parents (my in-laws) do not understand Cantonese and she was told repeatedly. That is why my in-laws keeps asking my wife and me to talk to her. And my wife did tell the dai kam jie that she will be making the decisions. and btw, my in-laws were also ignored by her.

      Issue 4: This is something i'm particular about. I've told her that i do not pray to tian gong and only buddha. yet she asked them to pray outside to tian gong, and put the joss stick on buddha's urn when there is another urn outside that i've specifically prepared for tian gong prayers.

      Issue 6: Jobs done and she said she wasn't hungry, 5 mins later at the grooms house, she was eating like a horse. Nasi dagang was not the only dish served. there were other "chinese" dish. Nasi dagang was prepared because my in laws are from kelantan and they wanted the guests to try a taste of the kelantanese food.

      I've never challenged her skills. what she has shown to me is that she is very incompetent..

      And btw, we insisted that we did not want a dai kam jie, but the groom's sided hired 1 anyway.

      Delete
  3. Where can I get Dai Kam Jie in JB? any contact?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi, KT. I'm hired this Dai Kam Jie before also. She is very good Dai Kam Jie. I feel very happy and lucky I can hired her be my Dai Kam Jie. She explained to me the process, things that need to prepare, and the situation will faced on that day very clearly. And she very helpful also, anythings i not understand i will call her and she will teach me how to do. I had introduced this Dai Kam Jie to my friends. Some of my friends request her to speak mandarin, cantonese, hokkien, hakka, teochew she also can speak very well except english. All my friends hired her before also very satisfied her service. My friends thanks to me because i introduce a best Dai Kam Jie to him. If any people ask me introduce Dai Kam Jie, I sure will continue to recommend Fong Fa Jie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, that was the worst experience ever for me. She was not hired by us, and did not talk to us or contacted us at all. we only met her when the groom's entourage arrived.

      Before everything started, she was told repeatedly that my in-laws do not understand a word of cantonese, yet that is the language that she decided to use.

      I WILL definitely NOT recommend her to any of my friends.

      Delete
  5. Hie all,

    this site is super helpful and useful =) really appreciate such sites..

    i'm based in Penang.
    would anyone have any recommendation for:
    1. a dai kam jie who can speak Hokkien + English? a good one, not overly strict or 'nagging' kind...but funny n friendly =)
    2. an emcee...just a nice emcee, who also speaks Hokkien + English.

    thanks all =)

    ReplyDelete
  6. My tai kam jie for our Dec 2014 wedding was Doris .. she was very easy to work with, super fun and experience and she manages the whole tea ceremony well!! She is good in Cantonese, English and a bit of bahasa! Hokkien is not too bad too!! Will recommend her! But her rates are RM600 now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I saw one Dai Kam in Kajang, she was hired by my cousin, she is always smile and made the relative happy & laugh during the tea ceremony, her name is Tian Jie 016 2211 531
    good for recommended.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi, would like to check has anyone used see peng jie before? Is she good ?

    ReplyDelete

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